Friends or lovers?

We've all experienced that moment when someone you had always thought of as just a good mate, crosses a line and becomes, well something else. So feeling very unhealthy, having drunk for the best part of a week, I decide to make the most of the glorious weather and walk to Battersea Park. It has been a year since my last visit and too long. Before I go I decide to text Sam who lives close by to see if he wants to catch up. Our last catch up ended in a very drunken and somewhat uncomfortable pashing session. Five months of no sex was taking its toll and I was ready to grab anyone. Well not quite, but you get the idea. Despite being very drunk, a moment of clarity made me realise how wrong the how thing was. He left the house feeling rejected. I woke the following morning and had the moment of waking up to a new day, all happy, before the memories flooded back. I sent a text full of expletives and “sorry”. So this weekend I decided I needed to face the embarrassment and get over that first catch up and hopefully retain some form of friendship.

After lounging in the sun in the tropical garden reading The Island by Victoria Hislop, I meet Sam at his house and we take a train to Waterloo for the Thames River Festival. The energy is amazing, people, music and smells everywhere. The energy between us is also a little extreme. I am shocked by how nervous I feel and the sexual tension. What the hell is this all about? We grab our food and drink and take a seat on one of the long tables across the closed-to-traffic Southwark Bridge. The sky is turning pink behind the Tate Modern as we overlook the river, drinking Pimms and lemonade.

I find myself noticing his cute brown eyes, his gorgeous smile, how well toned he is. Wait on a minute! He is clearly flirting and I am flirting back. What the hell is going on?! He invites me back to his house for some of his famous chocolate chip muffins that he has baked that day. They are amazing. I am tempted, but remembering my plan to make a new pumpkin soup recipe for this week’s dinner and the fact that I didn’t want a repeat of our last meeting, I decline and promise to take up the dinner and muffin offer next week. Friends win out.